‘Special’ Relationships

blog relationships

In week 4 of May Cause Miracles (you can read about week 1, week 2 and week 3) we are guided to examine our relationships. Not just our romantic relationships, but our relationships with family, friends, colleagues and even seemingly unimportant relationships such as the fleeting encounter we have with a cashier at the supermarket.

In week 4, I learnt a hard but valuable lesson, although admittedly it took me a few days for the miracle to occur. I had the opportunity to meet a celebrity that I had admired for the last six years. The night finally came and I was so excited with visions of lounging in the green room, chatting whilst sipping on Moët and taking lots of photos. Well, the evening did not go quite as I had imagined. In fact, I got all of two minutes with this celebrity, one photo and the only conversation I got was “Hi, what’s your name?”…

Needless to say I was absolutely devastated and to be honest I was quite shattered about the whole thing. Disappointment turned into anger and I admit that I got caught up for a day or two complaining about this celebrity to everyone that asked me how the “meet and greet” went. Then I asked to see things differently and with love. So I began to look at the way I had contributed to the way I was feeling (at first my Ego was like whaaaaat?!)…just go with me for a minute.  I was so focused on being angry and disappointed at this celebrity for not acting the way I thought that they should, I could not even see how I had contributed. But then I began to realise that I had put this celebrity on a pedestal. So when they didn’t act the way I had expected, they fell off the pedestal and I also fell down right along with them.

But this is where the miracle occurred – YAY!

I have now learnt the dangers of putting someone up on a pedestal and in turn to have these expectations about how we think they should act. Gabby calls this scenario a “special relationship”, where we view the person as more special than ourselves and place unrealistic expectations on the. We cannot impose these unrealistic expectations on people, as it only leads to us becoming more separate and moving further away from love. It is not fair for us to do this to anyone (whether we know them or not), as it only sets them and us, up for failure. People are not perfect – they will make mistakes, disappoint us, let us down and do it all over again. It is our job to forgive them and see them with love.  Further, to realise that they are doing the best that they can with the knowledge they have and experiences they are facing in their own lives. If we can not do this for them, then how can we expect them to do the same for us?

“The ego uses the body to create more separation in our relationships to others. When you perceive yourself as a separate body, inevitably you’ve projected yourself to be better than or less than someone else.”

Week 4 in summary…

day 22

Day 22: Witness Your Ego’s Special Illusions

Affirmation: TODAY I AM THE WITNESS TO MY EGO’S FALSE PERCEPTIONS OF OTHERS.

Today focus on your thoughts about others – when you judge or attack them, or when you think you are better or less than them. Witness how the ego uses these false perceptions to convince you that we are all separate. 

day 23

Day 23: Be Willing To Turn Your Ego Over To Your Ing

Affirmation: INNER GUIDE I ASK THAT YOU HELP ME SEE EVERYONE AS EQUAL

Surrender your ego to your inner guide to show you how to reconnect with oneness in your relationships. Discover the way the ego uses the darkness to hide in your relationships. You can transform your relationships by calling on your inner guide to bring you back to the light. Look at the important relationships in your life but also don’t discount the seemingly unimportant or minor relationships or encounters you have with people. 

day 24

Day 24: Kindness Created Me Kind

Today’s AFFIRMATION is: KINDNESS CREATED ME KIND.

Remind yourself that we all came from a place of love and kindness. Act with kindness and you will return to that place of light and love. Use the affirmation whenever you begin to judge it attack others.

day 25

Day 25: Be Grateful For The Purpose Of The Relationship

Affirmation: ALL ENCOUNTERS ARE HOLY ENCOUNTERS

As much as we don’t care to admit it, when we judge or attack someone, we are reacting to something we see in them which is a reflection of us. The Course teaches that the thoughts we have about others are a mirror reflection of the thoughts we believe to be real about ourselves. Often this is unconscious caused by some sense of lack within you. By practicing gratitude you will be guided to resist the thoughts about others and thereby healing your thoughts about yourself. Seek to accept all your relationships as an assignment – an opportunity for spiritual growth.

day 26

Day 26: F Everyone!

Today’s AFFIRMATION is: I COULD SEE PEACE INSTEAD OF THIS.

The difference between forgiveness which comes from the ego and forgiveness which comes from you ~ing (inner guide), is that the ego uses as a tool to get what it wants whereas your ~ing uses it to return to love. Regardless of what has been said and done, with the help of your ~ing, can forgive and return to love and oneness.

Would you rather be right or happy?

day 27

Day 27: Miraculous Relationships

Today’s AFFIRMATION is: TODAY I AM A MIRACLE WORKER. I CHOOSE TO SEE LOVE IN ALL.

Focus on having a miracle-mindset today and be guided to release your old fears which are holding you back from having faith in oneness. Gabby refers to this as the ‘holy instant’. Bring love to all your relationships and notice the peace that washes over you and the miracles that occur! 

day 28

Day 28 : Reflect & Prepare

Use today to reflect on the last week – what came up for you? what subtle shifts occurred?

Who have you got on a pedestal? Who are you judging or attacking?
How are you going to bring miracles into your relationships?

In the comments below please feel free to share anything
that comes up for you today.

Choose peace. Choose love. Choose light.

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