When you are unhappy, frustrated or agitated, do you gravitate towards victim mode? Do you tend to feel sorry for yourself and blame others? It’s ok if you said yes, don’t beat yourself up – we all do it! In fact it is a very easy habit to get into and not so easy to get out of. The ego is very comfortable in victim mode. It will tell you tiny mad ideas like “you are stuck“, “there’s nothing you can do to change it” – sound familiar? When we blame others for our own unhappiness we let ourselves off the hook to actually having to do anything to change that.
I recently left a situation that had been making me unhappy for quite a while. Every day I was frustrated, agitated and burnt out. I would tell anyone who would listen how much I hated the situation. Since the beginning of the year I knew something needed to change but I would make excuses why I couldn’t leave the situation. But when I was able to put those excuses aside, I could finally see that the main thing keeping me in it was fear. Fear of the unknown, going outside my comfort zone, failing, letting people down…you know the drill.
Fortunately the situation hit rock bottom. Mind you it is only now that I can say fortunately. At the time I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown! Despite a horrible and stressful few weeks, it gave me to push that I needed to say enough is enough. I decided to face my fear head on – I took a leap of faith and left that situation. Once I made the decision, the best way to describe how I felt is free. I felt like I could breathe again. I felt lighter.
Now in the interest of full disclosure, the start of this new chapter hasn’t been all rainbows and sunshine. It’s been a MASSIVE change, greater than I had anticipated. It has been a few weeks filled with doubt, anxiety, fear, loneliness and feeling pretty uncomfortable. Cue my ego…filling me with doubt about my decision. Although the situation that I left was making me unhappy, it was what I knew – it was comfortable. And often this is what keeps people stuck in a situation. And that is the best word to describe it – stuck.
After a few days I realised that it was my ego filling my head with its tiny mad ideas. Since then, I have allowed myself just to be with that feeling of being uncomfortable. And I think at the moment, that is all I need to do. It is ok to be uncomfortable. It doesn’t mean that the wrong decision has been made. I know in my core that I have made the right decision, but this is an adjustment phase.
And in the past few days I have begun to find my feet again. My confidence is slowly growing and I am beginning to trust in my abilities again. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. And though I still have a lot of learning and growing to do, I trust that I am on the right path. It is so important to realise the difference with being uncomfortable due to change and your gut telling you that you’re on the wrong path.
It is far too easy to feel any level of discomfort and then to begin to doubt your intuition. My message to you is don’t give up at the first sign of discomfort! Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It will be worth it in the end – promise.
Choose peace. Choose love. Choose light.