It has been 14 months since I wrote Healing from the Inside Out and shared how I was diagnosed with Adrenal Fatigue.
When I wrote that blog I was highly optimistic and motivated to make the changes my body was calling me to make. And to a certain extent I did. But it was sporadic and then it slowly all began to fade away. While it was a wake up call for me at the time last year, I slowly allowed myself to be ruled again by fear and for my ego to once again take control of my life.
So in the interests of full disclosure let me get real and share where I am at today.
Since writing that blog post I have unfortunately gotten a lot lot worse. It has been somewhat of a roller-coaster ride. I would take a couple of steps forward and start to improve and then next minute I would take 10 steps back. Self sabotage at its worst.
So 3 months ago…
I felt like I was coming down with a cold and all of a sudden my left ear felt blocked. The next day I started to feel dizzy, this lasted on and off for a couple of days but I pushed on. Then I became practically bedridden with Vertigo for almost 2 weeks. I wasn’t allowed to drive and even when I was laying down the room was spinning.
I saw my Doctor and Naturopath and they gave me their advice and I began to make some changes but nothing stuck.
My symptoms got worse and more began to pop up as the weeks went on. I got used to the hearing loss and constant ringing in my ear but my daily life became increasingly difficult as I struggled with remembering things, getting tongue-tied or mixing up my words when I spoke.
So here I am 3 months later and still dealing with many symptoms on a daily basis.
It took my Doctor and my Naturopath to tell me that I was chronically fatigued and desperately needed to rest, and a couple of my nearest and dearest to tell me with tears in their eyes how worried they were about me, for me to say enough is enough. I finally let go and admitted that I was struggling. I am physically, emotionally and spiritually at rock bottom and I need a break.
And I am doing just that. Next week, I am taking a week off to breathe and to rest. I am not making plans or creating a schedule for myself but I am planning on a whole lot of self-love and self-care. I will be taking some time off social media but I will share my week off with you once I return to the land of social media.
I am fortunate enough that my soul sista and friend of more than 20 years has just moved from Brisbane to my home town of Melbourne. She is a health conscious chef and Naturopathy student who has moved in with me for a couple of months (how perfect is that?!).
In different ways, we both have a whole lot of healing to do and are combining forces for some major healing of our minds, bodies and souls.
I will be sharing all about our healing journey over the next few months.
It has also been extremely difficult dealing with health issues that people cannot “see” or constantly being asked “are you still sick?”. I’ve been brought up to suck it up and push through. So everyday I get up do my hair and makeup, put a smile on my face and when someone says “good morning, how are you?” I answer “good thanks”. But what people don’t see is the struggle to get out of bed each morning, the extra concentration I now give conversations to make sure they don’t notice I am getting tongue tied or forgetting what I am even talking about, or the overwhelming dizziness that takes over when I get up too quickly. This is a topic I really want to explore in a lot more detail so stay tuned for an upcoming blog.
I do not recommend waiting until you hit rock bottom to make changes in your life. Sometimes I think to myself it would be so much easier so much easier if I rewound 5 years ago when I had little to no awareness about physical, emotional and spiritual health and well being. But in truth that is not the easier path of the two, it would just be willful blindness.
Choose peace. Choose love. Choose light.