If we keep waiting for everything to be perfect to be happy, chances are we aren’t ever going to be happy.
How many times have you said to yourself…
I’ll be happy when I lose the weight.
I’ll be happy when I get that job.
I’ll be happy when I buy that fancy car.
I’ll be happy when I meet the perfect partner.
I am all for having goals and dreams but I also think we can choose to be happy right now. Yes, even with the extra winter weight or without a ring on your finger. And yes even with your perceived mistakes from the past.
We don’t have to punish ourselves so harshly or at all. I used to think I couldn’t be happy until everything was perfect. It was as though me being unhappy was like a personal punishment for my perceived imperfections. Well I was wrong, so wrong. We should not be punishing ourselves for what we aren’t and we should accept ourselves for who we are today. Right here, right now. Whether you punish yourself or not, you cannot change the past so why not let yourself off the hook baby!
I’m a Pisces and if you know anything about horoscopes that means I am highly emotional and sensitive, oh and I am always in my head (I’m also very stubborn and a dreamer but that’s another blog post!). When I get down, I get really down. It can feel like the hole is so deep that I can’t possibly dig myself out. I’ve been there, so believe me when I say I understand. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy by any means. But if you want to, I promise you can dig yourself out of that hole. With time, patience, gentleness and a whole-lotta self love.
Guess what, you don’t get any extra points for punishing yourself and being unhappy because you and/or your life isn’t “perfect”. Nope, they lied! It is SO much harder and way more effort to hate yourself and be unhappy. Once you get a taste of this whole happiness thing, it’s kinda addictive and totally freeing.
But of course with choosing happiness means you have to face your inner mean girl. And that means pain and that means you gotta work at it every single day. So I can totally understand why our inner mean girl keeps us stuck in fear. She tells us that it is safer to stay stuck where we are and to be unhappy, than it is to step into the light and be happy.
You can choose to be happy no matter what else is going on in your life. For some reason we are taught to wear our unhappiness as a badge of honour and that it makes us superior because we aren’t happy because we (think) we need to loose weight or we can’t be happy without a partner. But that’s bullshit. Choose happiness in spite of everything else that’s going on.
Happiness is not a destination and it not something to be achieved or bought. Happiness IS our natural state. You don’t need to go out in search of it because it is already within each and everyone of us. It is as simple as saying “I choose happiness”. It doesn’t matter what’s going on out there or what may or may not happen tomorrow. Right here, right now we can choose our state of mind.
Grab a notebook and a pen, or open the notes app on your smart phone (go on do it!). Now write down the following:
- 5 things you are grateful for in your life right now;
- 5 things you love about yourself. (let me guess your inner mean girl is telling you there is nothing? Good you’re becoming aware of her stories. Now close the door gently on her and choose again) Write down 5 things!; and
- 5 things you have overcome or accomplished in your life that you never thought you could but did. Woohoo go girl!
Now read back what you wrote down. Doesn’t that feel good?
So next time your inner mean girl tells you that same old story, don’t accept it as your fate. Choose again. Choose happiness.
You are enough beautiful, exactly as you are right now.
Choose peace. Choose love. Choose light.